losing a perfect thing
by the moonlight mona lisa
Summary: that kiss tastes like summer. — clover, santa. pre-vlr, post 999.


**I guess this is an AU. I dunno, one where Clover and Alice are alive during the Radical-6 outbreak and weren't put into cold-sleep? **

**Who knows. I don't own the Zero Escape franchise.**

* * *

**losing a perfect thing**

**(that kiss tastes like summer.)**

**.**

**.**

They find him, in the middle of nowhere, out of place and looking awkward.

She doesn't recognize him immediately, because he's changed. His eyes have gone mad, madder than before, and he looks more like a wild child than he ever has. She swears to Alice that she knows him, but Alice insists that Clover is mistaken and that they must leave as if they could catch his crazy or something.

Clover hesitates. Alice starts walking and motions for her to follow, but Clover doesn't move, just stares at the man in front of them.

She can't believe it when she figures out who he is.

"Santa…?"

His chuckle is crooked. "No, not anymore. I go by Aoi in the real world."

That's right. She remembers her brother saying something like that. They had been driving, just a few days after the Nonary Game. Junpei and the others, including Alice, had been in the back, her brother sitting up front. They were the only two awake in the whole car, and they had finally made it onto a public highway. She gasped, and just for a second she almost swerved the car. Light raised a brow at her and asked her what was wrong in that concerned voice of his. Her response was simple – "I thought I saw Santa." His was simple, as well, "His name is Aoi, you know."

She wondered then if her brother knew why the boy had affected her the way he did.

_His name is Aoi, you know_.

"Right… sorry," is her response, words finding a way to leave her lips.

She's not quite sure what she's apologizing for, though. It's not like she owes him one, it's the direct opposite.

"It's not a problem," he begins, "Just wondered how long it'd take you to recognize me, that's all."

There it is – that tantalizing tone that used to drive her mad and haunt her dreams. She stares at him, unable to figure out how she dealt with it before. Feelings that she would rather not remember are starting to resurface and Clover is left wondering if this is what Junpei felt like around Akane. She can't be sure, but she can certainly guess.

Clover's at a loss for words.

"Nothing to say, huh?"

"I don't know what you want me _to _say," she sighs out, "There's not much, if anything at all."

She's not lying. What does he expect her to say? Something like 'oh, how nice to see you, one of the people who kidnapped me and forced me to play some dumb game where I could have died in a billion different ways and almost left me separated from my brother'?

Because that would be so, so stupid.

He chuckles, "I was half expecting something like…" he inhales and makes his voice higher, "Fuck you, you piece of shit, I hate you so much and I hope you die."

Clover laughs, just a bit, and even Alice has to snort at that.

"I was thinking about it."

"Well, that's good to know," he says, sarcasm and sass still as evident as ever, "So, who's this?" he asks, gesturing towards Alice, "Your new girlfriend?"

Clover almost forgets that this man is dangerous and they should probably be arresting him right now, because the kind of conversation they're having is one that old friends would have, not one kidnapper and victim would have.

Clover laughs a little bit, "This is Alice and no, she is nothing of the sort. She's a friend."

Alice waves, and Aoi looks up, "Nice to meet you," he starts, "Clover's a riot, huh?"

Alice laughs, then, and nods.

"What does that make you, then?" Clover asks, "Because I would think _you're _the riot."

"Eh, no, that's not really my style. I think I'm more of a ray of fucking sunshine."

Clover wants to kiss him. She wants to run and kiss him right here, right now, even in front of Alice. She couldn't care what would happen, then, because at least she'd have that kiss at her belt. It would be closure, and it would be nice to get on with her life and relationships.

"Oh?" she asks, moving closer, "I think it's the other way around."

He starts inching forward, and maybe they both have the same thought. Maybe they both need this, because Clover would like to go on, and possibly start something with Alice. She certainly likes the other girl enough, but she hasn't forgotten about her old, buried feelings for this stupid boy in front of her.

They stand close now, faces only inches apart and if she could just –

Clover normally hesitates on these sorts of things – perhaps on a lot of things, and this is when she realizes that she's not hesitating here, and in turn that makes her want to hesitate.

But she doesn't.

She thinks he's going to, but he doesn't either.

Their lips crash for a few seconds, and it's everything she could have pictured. It's not enough, and perhaps if she didn't want to forget her feelings she would have wanted more. She wants more now, anyway. He smirks at her, knowing that they shouldn't have done even that, because now they're not going to ever have closure. They'll just yearn.

"It's certainly nice to see you again, Clover," he says, all arrogance and sass and she wants to kiss him again and again until that stupid fucking smirk is gone, but all she does is nod.

"You too, S-"

_His name is Aoi, you know_.

"You too, Aoi."

_Shut up, Light, I'm doing something. You're distracting me from it._

_Yes, kissing a boy. I'm almost ashamed, Clover. I thought you were playing for the other team._

Clover doesn't smirk or snort or laugh or even chuckle. She hates it when Light suddenly does shit like this. Aoi is smiling, perhaps knowing what's going on in her head right now.

…_Did you know about this when I thought I saw him last year?_

_Do you mean your confused feelings? You thought you saw him a lot. I had only an intuition that you were feeling something for him. Oh, I suppose you _felt_ something for him would be more appropriate, yes?_

Is he teasing her or interrogating her?

…_No. I might still feel a little something…_

"Well, I better get going. Tell Light I said hey."

Light laughs lightly in her head. _Hello, Aoi. Please keep your hands off my sister._

Aoi kisses her once more, and she kisses back because she needs to. She may never see him again, and this is all she can get for now.

"I hope to see you again someday, Clover."

"Yeah… me too."

They wave goodbye and Alice sighs. "Are we finally ready to go?"

_Tea's getting cold, Clover. You best be coming home now… Unless you plan on eloping with Aoi, in which case I would never bless your marriage._

Clover says nothing until the silver-haired man is out of sight. She gets the feeling Light is trying to cheer her up, but she can't say anything back.

"…Yes, let's go."

….She's not sure where they're going anymore.

**.**

**.**

A month later, the headlines read about the horrible disease. Clover doesn't want to look at them at all. She doesn't like the idea of her home being a wasteland, even though it's the truth.

_Clover, I think you should read the paper today. Specifically, the victims list._

She does as her brother suggests, and the world comes crashing down. There it is, glaring her in the face.

"_The world succumbs to Radical-6. The first few victims are listed here…"_

All the other names don't mean anything to her.

"_Aoi Kurashiki, age 25."_

Alice stares down at the sad paper and watches the girl's eyes well up with tears. They do not fall, and that is unexpected. She pats Clover on the back, ready to comfort her at any time.

Clover's feelings flush out. Yes, she loved that boy even after the horrible things he had done to her, and then acted normal about everything. Not that she could blame him. She just wished that she didn't have to get closure this way.

…_Are you alright?_

She doesn't respond.

The world starts to feel a little emptier after Aoi's gone.


End file.
